phantom intimacies (2022- ongoing)
reverse bear trap (2023), collage, printed on 3 transparent sheets in CYMK, in lightbox, 8 x 11 framed, Kingston, Ontario, funded by the City of Kingston Arts Fund
constellations : solar systems (2023), collage, printed on 3 transparency sheets in CYMK, in lightbox, 8x11 framed, Kingston, Ontario, funded by the City of Kingston Arts Fund
plague dr. (2023), collage, printed on 3 transparency sheets in CYMK, in lightbox, 8x11 framed, Kingston, Ontario, funded by the City of Kingston Arts Fund
the weight of - (2023), collage, printed on 3 transparency sheets in CYMK, in lightbox, 8x11 framed, Kingston, Ontario, funded by the City of Kingston Arts Fund
peppermint scents (2023), collage, printed on 3 transparency sheets in CYMK, in lightbox, 8x11 framed, Kingston, Ontario, funded by the City of Kingston Arts Fund
plague dr. (2023), collage, 8x11 framed, Kingston, Ontario, funded by the City of Kingston Arts Fund
my moon and his stars (2023), collage, 8x11 framed, Kingston, Ontario, funded by the City of Kingston Arts Fund
first of many scars together (2023), collage, 8x11 framed, Kingston, Ontario, funded by the City of Kingston Arts Fund
constellations : solar systems (2023), collage, 8x11 framed, Kingston, Ontario, funded by the City of Kingston Arts Fund
the weight of - (2023), collage, 8x11 framed, Kingston, Ontario, funded by the City of Kingston Arts Fund
peppermint scents (2023), collage, 8x11 framed, Kingston, Ontario, funded by the City of Kingston Arts Fund
reverse bear trap (2023), collage, 8 x 11 framed, Kingston, Ontario, funded by the City of Kingston Arts Fund
Phantom Intimacies is an intimate look into my queer relationship with my partner, specifically during the COVID-19 pandemic. This work centres the body of my partner, and how we have worked together to incorporate new forms of healing and care, since his chronic pain diagnosis during the height of the pandemic. Our queerness, intimacy, and love are braided throughout the process of this work. We've had awkward and difficult conversations about body dysmorphia, numerous back and forth banter about what intimacy looks like, and we worked alongside each other through the editing process. As an artist I had to let go of some of my ideas of what art should look like and do. As a partner, I had to rethink what it means to show our relationship in loving and care-full ways, that do not romanticize and violently gaze upon disabled, neurodivergent, and queer and trans bodies.
Through this process, I've learned new ways of healing chronic pain, such as reiki, essential oils, and cupping. I am thankful to our massage therapist Greg Moss and Physiotherapist Christine Campbell for their consultation and support throughout these processes of creation and healing.
When I first proposed this project to the Kingston Arts Council, I envisioned a project that would centre my partner's experience with being diagnosed with fibromyalgia at the beginning of the Covid-19 pandemic, and how I could support him through his pain - this did happen. However, throughout the process of this work, I had multiple surgeries, was treated for chronic knee pain, and was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. Our ways of caring for one another and sharing intimacy, became more reciprocal in ways that I did not predict when this project started. Some of the scars in these images are old, others new, and others are waiting to emerge. Some scars art artful and purposeful - others accidental. Some are temporary and purple. Others are more permanent and harder to see,
With multiple mental health and physical diagnoses, a pandemic, benefits and marriage, and discovering new forms of healing, care and intimacy, this work is a love letter to all we’ve accomplished these last few years. Highlighting scars, bruising, and queer forms of love and intimacy, this work is a constellation and mapping of our care.
Thanks darling.
This project was funded by the City of Kingston Arts Fund. Thank you to the Kingston Arts Council and the City of Kingston for supporting this project.